The God I Don't Believe In

Photo by Ari Mattson

If your faith is more interested in drawing lines and building walls between people than building bridges and seeking connection, I don't believe in that god. 

If your faith agrees completely with the platform of any political party, I don't believe in that god. 

If your faith believes that your nation is specially blessed by God to save the world, but it isn't named in the Bible, I don't believe in that god.

If your faith never challenges you to change, but makes you hyper aware of other peoples' flaws, I don't believe in that god. 

If your faith never challenges you to change and agrees with everything you already believe, I don't believe in that god.

If your faith practices fear and compulsion to create "converts" instead of attracting people by its beauty, I don't believe in that god. 

If your faith believes it needs power to force people to fall in line, I don't believe in that God. 

If your faith condones violence as anything but a last resort and only to protect others, I don't believe in that god.

If your faith requires hierarchies based on gender, age, ethnicity, sexuality, or political persuasion, I don't believe in that god. 

If your faith wants to avoid the pain and confusion of the cross and only talk about Easter, I don't believe in that god.

If your faith only cares about your soul going to heaven and not the physical plight of others, I don't believe in that god.

If your faith only cares about physical needs and not spiritual transformation, I don't believe in that god. 

If your faith believes faith is a place you need to arrive and stay, instead of a journey of discovery "to grasp how long and high and wide and deep is the love of Christ" (Ephesians 3:18), I don't believe in that god. 

If your faith is only about what you believe in your head, or what you do with your hands, or what you feel in your heart and not all three, I don't believe in that god.

If your faith offers simple answers to every problem and demands you don't ask questions, I don't believe in that god.

But if your faith leads you to a God that delights in creation (Genesis 1) and frees people who are oppressed (Exodus), a God who remains faithful to people who are unfaithful to them (Judges, Isaiah, Jeremiah) and calls losers like Paul and Jacob and Samson and Mary Magdalene to be disciples, a God that makes me face my biggest faults and then offers me the medicine to heal them, and a God that says and does the things that Jesus does at the risk of death... If your faith leads you to a God like that (or if you are looking for a God like that) that's the God I believe in. 

I've seen glimpses of that God in my life. I continue looking for that God. This God confuses me and frustrates me at times, but has brought me better understanding of myself and the world than anything else I've found. And I believe God is trustworthy. 

I welcome anyone who wants to join me in seeking the God worth believing in.

From the Gray,

Pastor Ari

“With the courage to unlearn all of their hatred…” -Olivia Rodrigo, “hope ur ok”