You're Not Great (Probably), And That's Okay

Photo by Clark Tibbs on Unsplash

I remember growing up believing I could (and would) change the world. As an X-ennial (borderline Gen X and Millennial), I was awash in all the positive, you-can-do-anything-you-put-your-mind-to youth education of the 90s. And like most generations, my friends and I believed we would have the world fixed by the time we became adults. 

I also remember having my mid-life crisis at thirty years old when I realized I hadn't changed the world or accomplished "all the things" I thought I would. Instead, I had a very "normal" life. It wasn't a bad life, and was actually pretty close to what I wanted when I was younger (the career I wanted, a loving spouse and family, and a mortgage on a modest home). 

But I wasn't "great." I hadn't transformed the world, or published a book, or started a mega-church, or won a Nobel prize. (Okay, that last one was probably never a realistic goal.) And not being great made me feel like a failure, like I'd squandered my potential and was a disappointment to myself and my family -- and even God. 

(Side note: Therapy has helped me recognize there's a ton of space between "great" and "failure," and I'm more content trying to live there.)

I was reminded of my struggle to be great recently as I've been reading through Paul's letters for my devotions. Someone recommended that I read them not as theology textbooks, but as what they actually are: letters from a pastor to his church about everyday issues. 

It's amazing what a difference it has made. Instead of a treatise on the end times, 1 Thessalonians says, "I know you feel discouraged, but keep loving each other as you have and it will be fine." 1 Corinthians is less the final word on how to run a church and more: "Stop bickering and pointing fingers like 5 year olds! You know better than that!" 

I'd always kind of thought of Paul's letters as a roadmap to conquering the world, but while the scope of God's story is universal, Paul's concerns are far more personal. When you realize most of the churches he was writing to were probably fewer than fifty people, they feel even more restrained, maybe even mundane. 

Even Jesus rarely acts on a huge scale. The Feeding of the 5,000 happens when he's trying to get AWAY from the crowds (Matthew 14:13). Instead of "Go plant a mission start in the Sinai," he tells many of the people he encounters in the Gospels to go home and live their lives according to the love they've learned.

What I've come to recognize is that much of what Jesus teaches and Paul writes aren't commands to be successful or great or even effective. They are calls to be faithful and follow. 

Martin Luther was passionate about the Priesthood of All Believers, the idea that every Christian is a "priest," called by God to do holy things, but that those "holy things" are generally in our normal lives: being a parent or friend, being kind and honest in our work, etc. 

In other words, God doesn't expect everyone to change the world or be wildly successful in their job. Most of us won't do "great things, only small things with great love," as Mother Teresa once said. And that isn't failure or second class faith; it's how God operates. 

I continue to learn that I don't need to be "great" (whatever that means). My normal life can dwell in a great love from a great God, and that's better anyway.

From the Gray,

Pastor Ari

“When you find there’s nothing special, yeah, about that big hole in your heart, ‘cause everybody’s got one, with precious little time to talk about it.” -Vigilantes of Love, “Nothing Like A Train”

AI Sermons and Bible-bots Answer the Wrong Question

Back in May, I received an email from one of the software companies my church uses that they were going to launch an "AI Sermon" tool. I made a mention of it on my Facebook that basically amounted to an eye roll and then forgot about it.

A couple months later, a friend sent me an article about a "New AI app lets users 'text' with Jesus." Around the same time, I found another article about Biblemate.io, an AI app designed for people to ask faith questions and get quick answers. My friend joked when he sent the article: "They're coming for your job."

Joking or not, there is a lot of debate happening now in our culture and in churches about AI technology, whether it's a good or bad thing, and how, if at all, it should be used. There are some solid concerns about these tools that claim to have a "biblical worldview." There are hundreds of Christian denominations in this country alone and I've never met one that doesn't claim to have a biblical worldview, but they disagree on what that means. Which parts of the Bible should be taken most seriously? Literally? Which translation? Which scholars or pastors do we trust to interpret?

But the debate over accuracy and bias is not the problem I have with a faith-based AI that answers your questions. My problem is they are trying to solve the wrong problem.

Underlying these tools and the intentions of their creators is the assumption that faith is primarily formed by knowledge. But faith is primarily formed by relationships and experiences.

Nils Gulbranson, the creator of Biblemate.io, said his goal was to create a tool that would answer the questions he had growing up. That is commendable and I think is a worthy goal, but having the answers to questions alone does not create the trust and allegiance that is a living faith, just as knowing my wife's age, name, and favorite color doesn't create the love we share.

Jesus himself often answered questions with more questions -- "Who acted as a neighbor?" or "Who do you say that I am?" -- or with parables that often raised more questions than answers. When he gave direct answers to religious leaders, it often angered or confused them instead of sparking devotion to him. And even his disciples seem confused more often than they appear knowledgeable.

(The men who opened fire on a Black church in Charleston in 2015 and a Jewish synagogue north of San Diego in 2019 were both "knowledgable" about the Bible. They had been raised and confirmed in mainline Christian churches [the former in my own, the ELCA] and they used what they "knew" to defend their hate. As James 2:19 says, "Even demons believe" God is real.)

I love questions and I love knowledge (I used to joke about becoming a professional student), but they are a part of my faith, not the source of it. My faith came about because of the people of faith who raised and shaped me, because of the love and welcome I experienced as a child in church, and because of hundreds of moments of grace and joy that drew me closer to the source of them I've come to know as God. Questions and answers have helped me make sense of these experiences and relationships, but they aren't really the foundation of it.

I'm reminded of a story that was shared with me from a summer church event at the park. People of all ages were playing games, laughing, eating, and talking to one another, when a youth (who was not from our church) said to a friend, "What is going on here?" His friend looked around and said, "This is church." That moment of confusion and wonder is the seed of faith, watered with the knowledge that what you are experiencing is God at work. 

In May, I wrote about Sermon AI: "I’ve long held that a sermon is a living thing that is much more than information. It is an invitation into the ongoing story of God and God’s people. It is a marriage proposal from God asking us to change our lives forever week after week. If I preach well, I am not the focus and I am not the 'expert', but a fellow student ... [AI] cannot be a Living Word that connects the physical and divine. It cannot proclaim with any authority 'we are trapped in sin, but God loves us anyway and wants to set you free.'”

AI tools can be useful for supporting faith, or helping someone along in faith, but they won't take my job because my job isn't really about knowledge or answering every question. My job is trying to create the experiences and relationships that lead people to WANT to ask questions in the first place. 

Or, this may all be a very long way of saying: faith isn't taught, it is caught.

From the Gray,

Pastor Ari

“Unbelievable. The gospel according to who?” -REM, “Living Well is the Best Revenge”

The God I Don't Believe In

Photo by Ari Mattson

If your faith is more interested in drawing lines and building walls between people than building bridges and seeking connection, I don't believe in that god. 

If your faith agrees completely with the platform of any political party, I don't believe in that god. 

If your faith believes that your nation is specially blessed by God to save the world, but it isn't named in the Bible, I don't believe in that god.

If your faith never challenges you to change, but makes you hyper aware of other peoples' flaws, I don't believe in that god. 

If your faith never challenges you to change and agrees with everything you already believe, I don't believe in that god.

If your faith practices fear and compulsion to create "converts" instead of attracting people by its beauty, I don't believe in that god. 

If your faith believes it needs power to force people to fall in line, I don't believe in that God. 

If your faith condones violence as anything but a last resort and only to protect others, I don't believe in that god.

If your faith requires hierarchies based on gender, age, ethnicity, sexuality, or political persuasion, I don't believe in that god. 

If your faith wants to avoid the pain and confusion of the cross and only talk about Easter, I don't believe in that god.

If your faith only cares about your soul going to heaven and not the physical plight of others, I don't believe in that god.

If your faith only cares about physical needs and not spiritual transformation, I don't believe in that god. 

If your faith believes faith is a place you need to arrive and stay, instead of a journey of discovery "to grasp how long and high and wide and deep is the love of Christ" (Ephesians 3:18), I don't believe in that god. 

If your faith is only about what you believe in your head, or what you do with your hands, or what you feel in your heart and not all three, I don't believe in that god.

If your faith offers simple answers to every problem and demands you don't ask questions, I don't believe in that god.

Learn the Story: What the Old Testament Teaches About Jesus

Artwork by Aase Mattson

In September through November, I gave a sermon series I called “Learn the Story” that was based on two main ideas. First, the Bible is really one story told over many books, authors, and years. Second, that story points to and is centered on Jesus, our God made flesh. 

I was motivated to preach this series because of how often I encounter the suggestion that the Old Testament is, well, “old” and unimportant, or that it has little to do with the New Testament, or that “the God of the Old Testament” is not the "God of the New Testament." The more I personally study scripture and Christian theology, I find these ideas to be false and often dangerous. 

For those who couldn’t listen to all the sermons, or anyone who wants a written reference point, here is a summary of my ten sermons from “Learn the Story.” (All the sermons can be viewed in the worship services on our YouTube Channel starting on September 11, 2022.)

1. Made in God’s Image (Genesis 1:24-2:3 and Mark 12:13-17)

• Big Idea: When humans are made in God’s image, we are created to be representative of who God is to the world. When we are fully human, we remind anyone who sees us of what God is like. Language in the creation story suggests we should see all of the earth as God’s temple and we are the priests who manage proper worship. 
• Jesus Connection: Jesus, being both fully God and fully human, is the most perfect image of God we have ever known. A huge part of his mission was to restore the proper relationship between us and God and us and creation so that “Your kingdom come…on earth as it is in heaven.”

2. Rejecting God’s Image (Genesis 1:1-13, 19-23 and Mark 7:1-23)

• Big Idea: Sin (with a capital S) isn’t a broken rule, it’s a broken relationship. Sin comes into the world when we reject God’s image for our own. We prefer to seize control of our lives and don’t trust God to truly be good. 
• Jesus Connection: After losing “paradise” because of sin, God goes with Adam and Eve into the unknown. Jesus meets us in our unknown and dark places and even when we try to put God to death on the cross, Jesus returns to save us from ourselves and restore our lost relationship. 

3. Abraham, Sarah, and the Forever Promise (Genesis 12:1-8 and Luke 1:67-79)

• Big Idea: God makes a promise to one faithful family, Abraham and Sarah, that they will become a great “nation” or “gōi” in Hebrew. But God’s timeline is not always ours. It takes 25 years for Sarah to give birth and hundreds of years for the full promise to arrive. And the promise is for all because “gōi” is usually the word that refers to foreign people, not Jews alone. 
• Jesus Connection: Jesus is the fulfillment of the promise to Abraham and Sarah. Through Jesus’ death and resurrection, all of humanity is invited into the family of Abraham and becomes part of the promise made forever. 

4. Blessed and Limping: Jacob (Genesis 32:9-12, 22-31 and Luke 5:27-32)

• Big Idea: Jacob, Abraham’s grandson, has a checkered past of lying and cheating to get what he wants. It comes to a head when God shows up to wrestle with him in the night. In the morning, Jacob is wounded by God but blessed with a new name and destiny: Israel, “wrestles with God.” We will likely wrestle and struggle with God in our lives, but we can emerge blessed and limping.
• Jesus Connection: Jesus specifically seeks out the “sinners” like Jacob and blesses them. His goal is to transform our shortcomings into blessings. 

5. God the Liberator (Exodus 3:1-14 and Luke 4:16-21)

• Big Idea: This may be the most important story we have outside of the Gospels because it shows us God’s heart. God sides with the oppressed and hurting, and seeks to liberate them. We are meant to “image” God, but sin breaks that and creates a cycle of violence and oppression. God seeks to free the enslaved from their pain and free the slavers from their sin. 
• Jesus Connection: What God does in Exodus, Jesus does at Easter. When we cannot free ourselves, Jesus leads us through the sea of baptism, drowns our oppressors in the water, and we come out as God’s freed people. 

6. Becoming God’s People: Commandments and Wilderness (Exodus 19:1-8 and Matthew 5:13-20)

• Big Idea: God seeks for the Israelites to be “a priestly kingdom and a holy nation.” The Commandments are often seen simply as a list of rules, but God intends for them to tell us what a priestly and holy people look like, what it looks like to bear God’s image. 
• Jesus Connection: Jesus comes to “fulfill the law,” meaning to help us know it’s proper place. We love one another because we have been loved, not because we expect a reward. 

7. What is a Messiah?: Saul, David, and the Kings (1 Samuel 10:17-25 and Mark 8:27-37)

• Big Idea: “Messiah,” or “Christ” in Greek, was not a title unique to Jesus. Messiahs in the Old Testament were usually kings who rescued God’s people from their enemies, established a kingdom for them, and restored proper worship of God (like King David). They were military and political heroes and that’s what people expected Jesus to be. 
• Jesus Connection: Jesus is the True Messiah who turns our assumptions on their heads. He rescues us from the enemies of Sin and Death, establishes the Kingdom of God that has no borders or end, and restores us to worship God as image bearers. 

8. When Everything Falls Apart: The Exile to Babylon (Jeremiah 29:1, 4-14 and John 13:33-35)

• Big Idea: When Jerusalem is destroyed and God’s people sent to exile in Babylon, many question where God is and what they should do since everything they’ve known is gone. God’s answer is to live with hope, act with love, and create peace. No matter the circumstances we should seek that same goal. 
• Jesus Connection: Jesus one time says that the greatest commandments are to “Love God and love your neighbor as yourself.” In times of crucifixion and times of resurrection, we are called to do the same things, just as the exiled Jews were.

9. How to Speak to God: The Psalms (Psalm 13, Psalm 23, and Matthew 26:36-44)

• Big Idea: The Psalms are my favorite book because of their raw honesty. They include songs and prayers that are angry, confused, joyous, hopeless, and everything in between. Instead of “dressing up” or wearing a mask to come before God, we can be honest with our thoughts and emotions. We sometimes limit faith to what we do, but more importantly it’s about what we are: God’s beloved children.
• Jesus Connection: Jesus teaches us to pray to God as “Our Father,” because that’s the relationship God wants with us. And even Jesus prays to God with brutal honesty: “Father take this cup from me. Yet not what I will but your will be done.”

10. Don’t You Remember?: The Prophets (Micah 6:1-8 and Matthew 23:23-28)

• Big Idea: The prophets can make God sound like a grumpy landlord — “Don’t break the rules or I’ll evict you!” — but their words are more like the concerned parent who can see their child going down the wrong path: “If you keeping doing that, there are going to be bad consequences, so please don’t.” Micah summarizes many of the themes from the Old Testament in three simple commands: “Do justice, love kindness, walk humbly with your God.”
• Jesus Connection: What Micah commands is what Jesus does — for us! He brings justice for the suffering in his ministry and for all at the cross, he shows kindness and compassion to all, and he walks humbly with us, teaching us the way of God’s love.

The Big Story’s Big Idea: God created this world and us to be a physical living-out of everything that is good about God. Out of fear and our self-centered nature, we reject God’s image and choose to pursue our own images or idols. God spends the rest of time seeking to call us home and show us that everything we are seeking — liberation, purpose, community, security, hope, peace, justice, acceptance — are found in relationship to God. Jesus is the ultimate example of God’s way, but more importantly is the Messiah who rescues us from ourselves and restores us as God’s image bearers.  

From the Gray,

Pastor Ari

“I’m still learning things I ought to know by now.” -Vertical Horizon, "You’re a God”

Let's Stop Fighting About Turkey Sandwiches

Photo by Mae Mu on Unsplash

One of my first jobs was working at a coffee and sandwich shop. Every day, I'd take orders and make sandwiches with a variety of vegetables, condiments, cheeses, and even grill them if asked. There were thousands of possibilities for customizing a sandwich, but all of them included two pieces of bread and some meat. 

And no one ever got into an argument over what someone else ordered on their sandwich.

"Why would anyone get into an argument about what someone else likes on their sandwich," you ask? We shouldn't, but it occurred to me recently that many of the debates and arguments that we get into in churches are like fighting over sandwiches. 

Churches have many ways of doing things. In worship alone, congregations need to decide on:

• Do we have music? What style? What instruments will lead it?
• Is there preaching? Who can preach? How long should it be? 
• Do we read scripture based on themes? Reading a section in order? Following a lectionary (i.e. a predetermined schedule of readings shared by many churches)?
• Is worship loud and energetic? Quiet and reflective? In the morning? Evening? How long?
• And more recently for many churches: will people worship in person, online, or both?

We have many denominations and congregations in the United States that have started over questions like these and most people choose a church to attend based on their preferences to questions like these. But they are preferences. They are not requirements or orders from God. 

In the sandwich metaphor, we might say they are like the toppings on a sandwich. Some people like their sandwich to have lots of onions and spicy mustard with two kinds of cheese; others prefer just turkey, mayo, and a slice of cheddar. And that's fine. There's nothing wrong with having different preferences.

Martin Luther and his fellow reformers had a word they used to describe these preferences: "adiaphora." It's a Latin word that basically means, "things that don't really matter" and for their purposes, meant "things that don't impact our salvation." In other words, whether or not you like a certain hymn or piece of architecture doesn't change that your faith in God's grace grants you new life. 

But many congregations have debates that sound like: "The way I make my turkey sandwich is the only way to do it and everyone has to agree with me or they aren't welcome." For example: 

• "Someone keeps wanting to put whole wheat bread in the sandwich line. No one likes that stuff."
• "I tried a grilled sandwich once and it was terrible. I hope we never serve that here."
• "I don't like Swiss cheese. Maybe we should stop offering it so that people learn to stop eating it."

These sound ridiculous, but if we swap out the options with words like "classic hymns," "upbeat music," or "worshipping online," they probably sound like things many churchgoers have heard or said. So, are we fighting over sandwich toppings? 

Again, there's nothing wrong with having different opinions about sandwich toppings, but they are adiaphora. They aren't necessary to have a turkey sandwich. You just need to make sure you have turkey and bread. So what is the turkey and bread?

Luther and the reformers had an answer for that, too. In Article VII of the Augsburg Confession they wrote: "The Church is the congregation of saints, in which the Gospel is rightly taught and the Sacraments are rightly administered." So, church is where people of God hear the Gospel and receive the sacraments. In preaching on Luke 13:10-17 recently, I paraphrased it by saying, "Church is where Jesus shows up and healing happens, physically, spiritually, or otherwise." That's the turkey and bread: Jesus shows up; healing happens.

There are hundreds of ways to make that happen. Most churches come up with one recipe and stick to it. My church tries to swap in different options from time to time because we know we have a variety of preferences in our congregation. Last year, we made the decision to have at least one hybrid service per week for people to attend in person and online together. We're learning to make everyone who attends feel included and welcome. I know there are many things we try or do regularly that not everyone loves, but I always try to have a space where something for your sandwich is awesome, even if you don't like everything on the table. Like a buffet, if you don't like something, just skip it and let someone else eat it up. 

But always -- ALWAYS -- let's make sure we have meat and bread. Welcome to church. Let's eat.

From the Gray,

Pastor Ari

“I’d rather fight you for something I don’t really want than to take what you give that I need.” -Rich Mullins, “Hold Me, Jesus”

Why No One Should "Go to Church"

Is it church if no one's there?
(Photo by JOHN TOWNER on Unsplash)

Years ago I cut out a magazine article and posted it on my office door. It was written by Dan Kimball, an Emergent church pastor from California. As he starts out, he shares a story of telling a group at his church that “According to the Bible...it is actually impossible to ‘go to church.’” After letting confusion wash over their faces, he explains that in the New Testament, the word “church” never applies to a building, but always to the people who follow Jesus. “We can’t go to church,” he concludes, “because we are the church.” (Unfortunately, other than these quotes, I can't find any trace of the original article. 😞)

This is a principle that we’ve all learned (I remember singing in Sunday school, “I am the Church, you are the Church...”), but we don’t act like we have. The way we typically talk about church actually suggests that we think of “church” as the building, or, at least, as only what we do in that building. 

Instead, we need to distinguish between the church that is a static building and the church that is a people or a movement. Being an English major and a writer, I like to think of them as the "little c church" (building) and "big C Church" (the people).

The word the early Church used to describe itself in Greek is “ecclesia,” which literally means “those called out.” The Church, then, is the people who are called by God. We are called out of things and ways of living that rob us of life and joy and God’s presence, called to gather to hear the Good News of life through Christ. And we are also the people called out of our places of worship (out of our comfort zones?) to be the Church in the world and for the world.

This is why Paul says Christians are the "Body of Christ," a living, moving extension of God, instead of an unmoving building. (Or maybe an unmoving audience?) If we think church is just the building, we can think our faith and lives are as static and passive as the building. It becomes the country club (or bomb shelter) that we retreat to when we need to rest. 

One of my favorite images for the church I heard years ago at a youth gathering (I apologize that I can't credit the source), where someone said, "We too often think of church as a buffet, where we come to gorge on God and then hope we won't starve before we return; instead, we need to think of church as the grocery store where we gather the ingredients we need to make meals throughout the week."

Just as the goal of going to the grocery store is to have a dinner party, the goal of going to church (the building) is to live as Church (the people). We are "called out" as the Church not to escape from the world or hide from it, but to learn to live in it with identities, patterns, and habits that are healthy and cooked from good ingredients. 

The God of Life has called us out, called us out of death and into life, called us out of the noise and chaos the world around us to rest in (and then share) a message of hope. God calls for us to grow in that life and God calls us to share that life with others. God doesn't want us to go to church; we are called to be the Church.

From the Gray,

Pastor Ari

"May this place of rest in the fold of your journey bind you to hope. You will never walk alone." -Jars of Clay, "The Shelter"

Faith in Media: When the Pop Star Interviewed the Late Show Host

Image Found at TowardInsight.com

When I first heard about this interview clip between Stephen Colbert and Dua Lipa, I was confused. I was told that Dua Lipa, the pop star, was interviewing Stephen Colbert of The Late Show on his show? And Lipa, known for sexy dancehall hits, was asking him sincere questions about his faith as a Christian? And Colbert had a profound and personal answer? 

That combination of factors didn't really compute in my brain, and so I forgot about it at the time. Then about five months later, someone told me, "No seriously, you need to watch it."

I've now watched it multiple times because I think it really is that good. And the novelty isn't even the best part. (The first few minutes sets up the conversation, but the relevant Q&A begins at 2:43 in the clip.) There are at least three things that I find particularly worthy of reflection. 

First is simply the authentic humanity of the conversation. While they are joking around, Lipa's question is honest (she is really curious to learn what he has to say) and dignifying (she recognizes something that is important to Colbert that she may not share or understand) and Colbert's response is respectful (he answers honestly without scoffing at the question or trying to convince her of anything). In an age where we so often see differences of opinion as a threat or lack the curiosity to want to understand another point of view, it's refreshing to see a conversation that isn't a debate. I wish more conversations around the dinner table or water cooler went like this.

Second, I think it's amazing how well Colbert is able to use his faith to interpret a movie and a quote with theological lenses. And he doesn't use clichés to do it. I know I struggle to do that at times with a master's degree in religion, but he is at ease with the ideas and language of his faith. It's clear that he has thought about how his faith, his comedy, and current events intersect in strong ways. If I could teach that skill effectively, I would probably put myself out of a job. 

Finally, I love how Colbert identifies fear as the opposite of faith. Fear leads us to excuse evil, he says, and the solution isn't to ignore death or evil, but to disarm them with laughter. I think we're often more likely to ignore uncomfortable feelings like sadness or pain, but Colbert suggests we need to confront them or else they become too powerful. Finding ways to laugh about death to care for one another has echoes of "take up your cross and follow me." If you want to find God, don't run from hurt, but tend to it until something new grows out of it. (Luther called this his "Theology of the Cross.")

I hope you can find something as useful in this interview. If you have your own perspectives and know how to reach me, please engage with me by email or on Facebook. I'm happy to continue the conversation started by a pop star and a late night host. 

From the Gray,

Pastor Ari

“I’m a walking, talking question mark, but what is the question again?” -Jamie Lidell, “What’s the Use”